Dec 16, 2012

Hash Trash 2012 December 16 Run #491 Hangover Psycho Ball Buster Run

Present: Straight Edge, Sushi Cow Girl, Suck My Gumballs, Captain Jack Swallows, Happy SM, Chainsaw Assacre,  NFN’s Yukiko  & Dylan
Hare: Psychodrunk
Snare: Sushi Cowgirl
Once upon a midnight dreary, no make that a semi cold December afternoon in Sasebo Japan.  Haiki Station to be specific gathered 8 half-minds (hashers) for what would turn out to be a grueling & shitty trail. I mean that literally, but more on that story at 11.
It all began as Psycho took off for his allotted 12 minutes, chalk talk was skipped but for some uncertain reason, which eludes me to this day.  Never mind it’s of no importance. All 7 half-minds took off exiting the station & taking a right turn onto a BT.
Trail was eventually picked up again, going the opposite direction, in fact directing towards a bridge leading us to the other side of the river, quoth the hashers “fuck me more”. Sure thing as Psychodrunk would oblige.
Thru woodlands, farmlands & streets, and to previously un hashed sections of Sasebo City. There was even a construction site & stairs some more. Goddammit Psycho was a’ traipsing whore.  Quoth the Hashers  “ Fuck me more”
On-On passing thru nearby rice paddies we go, up the mountain down the valley here come the paddy wagon & the police, Maybe from habit or she was startled by the rabbit. Happy sorted out the mess  and offered the police to join as our guests. Following the lead thru the gates & back to the street, quoth the hashers “fuck me more”
To the hare’s dismay, Sushi came out and snared you today; Would have probably been done again if not for the random CB you left that way Quoth the hare “Fuck me more”. Long ways to the finish, SMG got a lil skittish, literally backsliding down a driveway,  who’s up for a neck injury this day? Quoth the hashers “Fuck Me More”
All possible electrocution hazards aside, cum join us on this wild ride of near slip n slides or nearly falling off the mountain and taking Death’s ride. Even the cows joined in on the insanity, cow pies & vanity this way.  Quoth the hashers “Fuck us more”
All in, sort of for here comes Psycho and the pack came a rapping, rapping @ Sphincter’s chamber door, Some visitor entreating entrance upon the chamber door to interrupt the games of shogi  for long lost  hashers came a rapping, rapping upon the GM’s chamber door

Chainsaw Assacre

Nov 17, 2012

Hash Trash 2012 November 17 Run #484 Return Of The Assacre (Psychotic Hare / Plan Change)

Hashers Present: Chainsaw Assacre, Suck My Gumballs, NFN’s Andrew & Dylan (virgins)
Hare: Psychodrunk.
 Twas a small gathering for a chilly November afternoon pick, or what was planned to be a pick up hash.  That is until Psychodrunk opted into hare…. Kangaroo Court??? Sure why not. Hare away, then unto chalk talk. As of the conclusion of the chalk talk & history it was hounds away.
 O’er the river & thru the woods to the hash house we shall go, or in this case it was a previously un-chalked upon section of Sasebo City (佐世保市) On-On thru a twisted maze of shaggy, construction & a convenience store beer stop across from a school of all places. It’s a good thing that chainsaw got to the sole free beer before 1 of the kids did.
 Up, Down, Up, Down thru what appeared to be a shrine, only to find a CB5 thru some more  shaggy.  The pack further proceeded to a 3 way fork in the road to a CB3, leading back into yet another patch of woods over a drainage ditch.
 Last but certainly not least, the pack came across familiar section of town. That is familiar to Chainsaw who had seen it before.  Consequently, Assacre took the intersection down the stairs to a BT, but that did not stop as he short-cut  down to 35.
 Finally crossing over the highway then the train tracks, Chainsaw Assacre that short cutting, FRB finished 1st @ Yamanota Station waiting for the others to finish. Shortly thereafter the others did finish for Down Downs Part 1.
 Part II was at New Makati where latecummers ODS , CJS , & Happy SM Joined in. Noteworthy violations: NFN Dylan Signed in using his last name (Navy Style), CA for Short cutting, ODS & the ladies for late cumming & Psycho for auto-hashing (bus)

Chainsaw Assacre

Sep 30, 2012

Hash Trash 2012 September 30 #479 Yano Mas-turbation Run

Present: Psychodrunk, Texas T-Bag, Romanian Steamer, Cum-Quat Queef, Chainsaw Assacre, Suck My Gumballs, Whiny The Poo, Captain Jack Swallows, Nash Trash, NFN’s Justin, Patrick (Virgin)
Hare: Yano-Mas
Latecummers: Happy SM, I-Phonicator, One Dog Sleeping.
As the Hashers gathered on this semi chilled September afternoon, with the same Barvado as Congress or the Senate about to vote on how to fuck over the population  Blah, Blah, ba fucking Blah!!! So what had actually happened was…
Yano-Mas had taken off post hash flash, the chalk talk had been well you get the idea by now. As it has come to pass, the weekly gathering of the chalk for brains bunch known as the Hash House Harriers took off in pursuit of the self proclaimed wily rabbit. “Fuck you tricks are for Hashers”
Part 1 took us up the beaten off path past the love motel ( Hoteru Ubdo) At which point Chainsaw was the only one w/ sense enough to remember the whistle check. Unfortunately there were no signs of naked people at the windows this time. Near by was found a familiar intersection leading up to, (here we go to MT. Yumihari (弓張岳) Again.
That suspicion however was proven false as we proceeded down the shaggy, that’s right I said down, to a douse o a 1st step. There it was passing thru a public walk way where a local man in his garden, or was it the construction crew that ratted out which way the hare went.
Finally The pack made it’s way to a boob check where more informants directed us which way to go, Not before Nash Trash decided to draw ??? on the strategically placed boob check. Past SSK going back to the park, or so we thought. It was near an intersection by Nakamura that Texas T-bag snared the hare. 2nd time was NFN Justin who gave chase thru “Lil Manila” out by River rock  after waiting outside of New Makati.
At New Makati, ODS, Happy & I phonicator joined in late to celebrate Psychodrunk’s birthday. Among other hash business conducted, Chainsaw presented a special T found under an old stack of porno mags found in the shaggy. Then there was all other hash business leading up to swing low.
Noteworthy Infractions: Shortcutting (All), ODS, Happy, I-phonicator, (Latecummers) Birthday Psychodrunk, ODS Stalking the hare, Nash Trash.

Chainsaw Assacre

Sep 23, 2012

Hash Trash 2012 September23 #478 Assacre’s Ad Lib Antics Part II

Hashers Present: Steamers, Butt Fuck Butters, Suck My Gumballs, Texas T-Bag, Yano Mas, Whiny The Poo, Blow My Whistle, Psychodrunk, Akage, Whiny The Poo, NFN’s Randy, Alex, Fumi, Justin (Virgin)
Hare: Chainsaw Assacre
Latecummers: One Dog Sleeping, Goat Fuck Yourself
 This whole mess of debauchery from the get go, I Chainsaw Assacre ake the blame for, NOT!!!.  As I was saying, his special newsletter (hash trash) postdated. It all started at Hiu (日宇) Station.
 As a side note, It was Chainsaw who put the challenge to the pack to catch him, If this happens, then Chainsaw would quit smoking. Did not work that way as it turns out . Fuck me I am off on a tangent here. 12 minutes started after a long wait for Assacre to cross 35. Hounds away finally.
 On-On the pack went to a really awesome looking spiral staircase for hash Flash #1. Then after it was the slide of hand CB4, leading up a semi steep walkway, were fishing in a small pond was suggested. At the top was an intersection followed to the left leading up to a set of overgrown weeds and spider webs attached to the stairs.
 Onwards thru the construction site, to a side road leading up to Mt. Eboshidake  (烏帽子岳) . Moving right along it was spotted for the pack to sing Hashers, as this was the 1st of many of CA’s chalk scribblings along the way. The next hash flash was along a giant rock, this after the art of “shaggy-surfing” was born.
 Many other wise (_!_) captions were chalked in but most seem to have missed the cameras. That is until after the woods where the “GOD-DAMNED SPIDERS” was placed. Heading, (Head, who said head?) the Pack came across a giant intersection nearby an apartment building where a lot of the Sasebo (佐世保市) police live at.
 Thru the beer stops, hash Takanashi-chou. Chainsaw got away clean, hahaha.   Down-Downs conducted, noise complaints received, and 3 hashers were named. NFN’s Alex, Randy & Fumi Henceforth & Forever more shall be known as: Denture Dick (DD) , Golden Steamer, & Nash Trash respectively.
Chainsaw Assacre

Sep 9, 2012

Hash Trash 2012 September 9 #476 Emergency Texas Run

Present: Chainsaw Assacre, Suck My Gumballs, Count Suckula, Psychodrunk, Pedokazu, Romanian Steamer, Lil Steamer, Papa Steamer, Whiny The Poo, Blow My Whistle, Manko …Polo, Butt Fuck Butters, NFN’s Colby, Fumi,
Hare: Texas T-Bag
 Damn, I forgot my quote for a soggy ass afternoon hash, oh well nevermind. It was a clusterfuck gathering of Texas T-Bag’s design. No wait, that does not seem right, more like: “As we gather here today” (in the accent of a southern Baptist minister)  Any way Im getting side-tracked again.
 It was in the nick of time for the 6 adventurous hashers who came back from Iwakuni the day before. As fate would have it they were all in for another grand misadventure for the devious hare of the day was none other than Texas T-bag. As the hounds made their way out of the park along the usual route to the walk way just short of the bridge and to the left.
 Intersection found near the street entrance. No surprise there. Trail was found shortly thereafter leading across the street and a wicked loop around behind Hikari & Log-Kit hamburger shops. This wily hare had timed it just right to evade capture.  As it was we found the wicked loop around back thru Nimitz Park to crossing the bridge this time.
 Thru the streets of Central Sasebo (佐世保市中央) up  around & thru the arcade we the hounds pursued. This of course led to a residential area, the name of which I could not pronounce to save my life. On-On we go o’er the river & thru woods….. Or NOT!!!
 The winding & twisting trail took the hounds up past the Kitasasebo stop. At this point trail was lost for nearly a ½ hour until found again on a small bridge in front of Sakuragi cho. Now it was o’er the river & thru the woods, + add in crossing a section of train track. To Find the segment of true trail.
 Front Runners Chainsaw, Psycho, Manko…Polo, & Butt Fuck Butters, along w/ NFN Colby & Whiny the Poo eventually made to the Senpukuju Stop only to see that Texas was on a train going back towards the start. So as we waited patiently for the next train, we were pleasantly surprised to  see Texas came back bearing the gift of “Free beer for all the Hashers”
 On the crazy train, so to speak we the few of us took to Back to the stop behind McD’s then onto meeting up w/ the rest of the pack to conduct down-downs.
 Of The hash business, Noteworthy Infractions include but are not limited to: Chainsaw, SMG, Romanian, Whiny, NFN’s Colby & Fumi for wearing their Iwakuni Hash T’s. Psycho for FFFH3 Tank top. Pedo Kazu, Papa Steamer, BFB, MP for backsliding, Texas T-bag for the shitty weather. Last but certainly not least, Psychodrunk for spilling beer YET AGAIN!!!!

Chainsaw Assacre

Sep 2, 2012

Hash Trash 2012 September 1 #475 Monthly Bar to Bar

Present: Psychodrunk, Suck My Gumballs, Chainsaw Assacre, NFN Fumi
Latecummer: Happy SM
Hare / Bar
1:   SMG / Shooters
2:   Psycho / Ishimaru
3:   Psycho / Shimezo (注連蔵)
4:   Psycho / Takan No Shippo
5:   Psycho / XOXO: (Snared)
6:   Chainsaw / Masters
7:   Happy SM / Gramaphone
8:   Chainsaw / Playmates
9:   SMG / Cindy’s Getaway
10: CA / Lovedoll
 Trying not to find myself in literary puddle , rather an actual cesspool of debauchery that be the hash. Thus the stated hash trash. Enough of that. SMG took the chalk to what we thought was across the bridge. This was not the case, hoodwinked we were, then along the river past kogo hospital. Over the river and thru the city to the hash house we shall go, or maybe just to Shooters. Of course, as SMG just had to be competitive and challenge Chainsaw to a game of  darts. After a while and losing the game, Psychodrunk was erected to go next, only to go 4 times at it.
 #2 was a tucked away near the trainstop and the stairway, called Ishimaru. There at least they had yebisu beer!!! Also chainsaw was able to explain to the bar owner the words on the wine bottle Casiellro del Diablo, translating as Locker of the devil or devil’s locker.
 #3 took us up the F!@#$n stairs. As we short cutted thru the back entrance of the lion tower on our merry way to Shimezo stand bar. Outside of the Finish Psycho tried to fuck w/ us by making a dash back to the bar to avoid capture, only to do a near faceplant over the median railing. Thus not fooled were we as Psycho had already finished.
 #4 Pleasantly surprised that we did not go back to Sailortown, rather Takan no Shippo, where the really cool chalk drawing of stitch in the head, (who said head?) I mean bathroom. On-On well at least for more beer!!
 #5 Enroute to XOXO, Psycho tried to evade us at the top of ?? Parking garage where he was caught, Really on a pub crawl, Psycho? Anyhow another 5 Minutes goes by, As Psycho tried yet again to fool the pack by a false finish at G-Shock, but XOXO it was.
 #6 Chainsaw took the chalk enroute to Yoji-san’s Master’s bar where we met up with habitual latecummer Happy-SM.
 #7 Happy SM / NFN Fumi chalked past a florist shop, where of the 2 lovely ladies dropped the hint to buy happy flowers. SMG and Psychodrunk actually displayed Gentlemanlike / fool hardy behavior and took the hint. I guess they were hoping this gesture would lead to so bedroom activities, as was not the case as the guys discovered when they got to Gramophone. 
 #8 Chainsaw,  well not much to go with here, out the door a left turn then up the stairs to playmates.  The remaining debauchery was a blur, I think that bar 9 was Cindy’s and 10 was lovedoll for more beer and swing low. At this point it was a drunk, hungry and not scoring Chainsaw along w/ SMG hopping in a taxi where as discovered later  that Psycho, Happy & NFN Fumi went to Mc’Donalds.

Chainsaw Assacre

Aug 13, 2012

Hash Trash 2012 August 12 Run #471 The Adventurous Run of a Few Dedicated Hashers

Present: Chainsaw Assacre, Psychodrunk, Whinny the Pooh, Suck My Gumballs, NFN Scott.

Hot and Humid for a very small turnout. This pick-up started with Chainsaw Assacre leading us to McDonalds. From there the clever hare almost lost us going through the park by the gym with a curvy true trail pointing slightly to a side street across the street. Up we went, slowed by the fact Chainsaw can't count while marking checkbacks. Up and up we went till we found a map saying go to shell. We found the trail and a no blow as we passed a small shrine into the shiggy. Full of spiders and mosquitos, the trail went almost vertical for a bit before leveling off. The first three hounds almost all fell into a big hole well hidden by foliage. We soon discovered this was a bear shitter, and the bear was not happy to have have hounds tromping through his home. As we cowered in fear and the bear was about to strike, there came a loud "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH" from our left. Everyone (including the bear) turned to see what it was, just in time to see Whinny the Pooh (who had been a minute or so behind the group) connect with a solid right hook to the bear's jaw. We left Whinny and the bear to duke it out as we ran for our lifes, up another 50 meters or so till we found the trail leading to the road. As we burst from the shiggy and ran, we caught up with the hare, who was sitting on some steps having a smoke. Psychodrunk grabbed the chalk and kept going to hare the next leg, as we filled in Chainsaw. Feeling at fault for a possibly dead Whinny, he offered to wait, and see what became of the galuent hasher. On we went, not knowing the fate of our fellow hasher. We soon found that as well as being as bad as Chainsaw at counting checkbacks, Psychodrunk also doesn't mind forgetting to put no blows next to cemeterys. As we came down the hill, we were slowed by an "elephant near" sign. Thinking this was the store he would be buying the beer at, as there was no beer miester on this hash, we crossed the street and began checking around the store. Silly us, was not to be, so we found trail and pushed on. We followed trail from in intersection to 35, and, as I'm sure Psychodrunk knew we would, crossed to see if the trail kept on. It did not, and so we had to wait to cross back. It was at this point that NFN Scott, knowing the hare would have to cross 35 at some point, left to shortcut by following 35 to pick up the trail at a later point. We ended up in the park by the elephant store some may remember from the first ever store to store. NFN Scott was the Front Running Bastard, followed by Suck My Gumballs. Whinny the Pooh and Chainsaw Assacre showed up a few minutes later, with Whinny limping, blind from missing his glasses and sporting a few nice big scares on the left side of his face. As he was still alive, we chose to assume he had won. When asked, his only comment was "poor Yogi" Down-Downs commenced and, with so many accusations of new shows flying around, the first ever, to the knowledge of those present, shoe social was downed. However, as the person who the first accusation was levyed against started with the wrong shoe, the second ever shoe social was downed, with everyone using there other shoe. We the proceeded to give NFN Scott a fuck off as he was going to see a movie, though it was kinda pointless as we ran out of beer and had to swing low 30 seconds later. The remaining few found themselves at Anchor for the beginning of the ON-ON Mini Bar to Bar, where we ran into Rusty's T-bone. He was not counted as a late commer as the Hash was over, his excuse? Work. Darts were shot, beer was drank, and we moved on the Gramophone. More beer was drank and then it was off to Mama-San's
for some food. From there we all went our seperate ways.

Suck My Gumballs


Jul 29, 2012

Hash Trash 2012 July 29 Run #469 Anal-versary Red Dress Run

Hashers Present: AKAGAY, Potassium Pubinator, The Swallows Sisters, Psychodrunk, Texas T-Bag, The Steamer Family, Butt Plug, NFN’s Zack and Alex
Hares: Happy SM, Chainsaw Assacre
Latecummers: e-Kimchi, Sphincter,

At the start of this anal-versary hash, the question was raised as to why we do this during the hot as hell Summer day, vice the spring or fall, but I digress, for those of us brave enough to brave the heat of hell or a Sasebo summer day surrounded by locals who decided to take pictures & maybe laugh at us like a side show display. At least GI hobo wasn’t there this time, nor were the wankers to be named along with NFN Zack.

Anyhow as we fucked off out of Shimanose park on ward thru the street tour of Sasebo & multiple beerstops, wait where was the free beer for the hashers? Rather than being total wankers about it, moving along trail did we. Right to the train station thru and across the street to Wal-Mart Super center sized intersection facing the docks to the true taril arrow indicating a swim across the bay. This where we also noticed the enormous amount of ass outlines on the park benches..

As we proceed, towards the finish, There was confusion about XXX marks in succession, but towards the finish had no idea at the time who it was that caught up to Happy SM. Onto the finish where down-downs were conducted by way of hash tradition, Including the namingof NFN Zack. As there was many good suggestions but none were good enough. NFN Zack henceforth and forever more you shall be known as Suck My Gumballs. To the end of circle, where somebody busted ass before the end of the 1st verse of swing low.

Noteworthy infractions include: Happy and Chainsaw for double beer meister, Autohashers: Swallows Sisters, The Steamer family & late cummer e-Kimchi. Chainsaw for littering, e-kimchi for not singing along to notes,

Noteworthy Praise: Happy SM for her “ICE” gasm

On-On +++>

Suck My Gumballs
Hasher formerly known as NFN Zack

Jul 22, 2012

Hash Trash 2012 July 22 Run #467 Wet Run

Present: Texas T-Bag, Chainsaw Assacre, Freeball Friday, B.O.B, S.T.D, NFN’s Zack, Randy, Scott and Matt (Virgin),
Guest Hashers: From Iwakuni: Barry An Twat Net, Queen La Queefa
Hare: Psychodrunk

Hot as hell the day was for a turn out of the semi usual suspects. That plus 2 guest hashers from Iwakuni white snake. I am still not sure why it was the wet run? Wait scratch that, when Psychodrunk is the hare, everything is opposite day. Such as running underneath Albuquerque  bridge to make a true trail arrow going the opposite way.  So on and so forth. Confusing as it was this time as the intersection by the main gate was making us wonder how psycho “got on base” to lay trail. But that wasn’t the case as he bee lined it along the sidewalk and fence to only cross the street by the SSK entrance leading us to confusion of a true trail that was not there last week.

On-On to the fucking stairs, well at least that part is obvious. The pursuant hounds found their way up the mountain thru a dual rehash of Sushi’s & Chainsaw’s old trails. Of which Chainsaw recognized but was lost temporarily behind an apartment building leading to more damn stairs!! Moving right along. Damned if we do damned if we don’t but sure enough failing to do a whistle check IVO of the love hotel. Shame on us.

Thru the straight away & into the Shiggy, yes I said shiggy. Because we hashers love shiggy, That is except for B.O.B who has been constantly whining about preference of pavement. Over the river and thru the woods to hash house we shall go. But to the surprise that we didn’t stop at the Shrine nearby.  As it were, Pressing thru more shiggy and making it all the way up to Yumihari, AGAIN!!! Or not all the way to a water machine for some much needed H20. Then back down the winding road into town again.
Not all the way down just yet, there was a lil more upwards to go before the last stretch of vines  spider webs, near slip and fall fatalites, and a stick violation etc….  

Noteworthy Infractions include: multiple misspellings on Psychodrunk. NFN Randy failing to get sex on Trail, NFN Matt with his broken backpack condom, Chainsaw mistaking true trail for an old mark, NFN Randy for a near stick up the ass, “splinter enima” a name suggestion for NFN Randy, and probably the most Heinous of all Texas T-bag for bringing Czech Budweiser!!!  Mental note to self there T-Bag, don’t bring Bud or happo-shu! Also bring more than 1 dip next time.

Chainsaw Assacre

Jul 21, 2012

Hash Trash 2012 July 21 Run #466 1st ever Store To Store Hash

Present: Chainsaw, ODS, Mama Suck Me, NFN’s Stephan, Josh , Zack and  Scott (Virgin)
Latecummers: Akagay, Potassium Pubinator, E.M.I
Hares/ Stores:
#1 Chainsaw / Nakamura (champion)
#2 ODS / Family Mart IVO Albuquerque
#3 MSM / ??? Package Store (ODS’s Dealer)
#4 AKAGAY / ??? Bar
#5 Chainsaw - NFN Scott / RIC
#6 Potassium – NFN Zack / Family mart (35)
#7 ODS / New Makati (Simon’s) Birthday
#8 CA / EMI Wild Side (Merci’s Birthday)
#9 ??  / New Makati

Twas a sultry summer evening for a last minute, well almost last minute that is because CA posted on facebook, Chainsaw using tech? WTH? Any how branching off on a tangent, so it be that Assacre was erected to go 1st.  Thus leading to the tricky CB2 by the bridge, just because he was being a dick and because they assumed that he was goona go there 1st.  Then ODS used tech to try saying they were lost in Sake Town.

ODS was erected #2 but to the tune of predictability, he did go to the Family mart by the bridge. Then had to fuck off momentarily, but had returned with latecummer Potassium Pubinator, Down Downs were conducted then Mama Suck Me was erected #3. Thus after trail violation of CB3, back to the intersection, we finally found the place It was a ??? package store (ODS’s) “Dealer” AKAgay decided to join the merry bunch as we interrogated the Virgin, NFN Scott to find out that the web made him cum & his sponsor wasn’t even there.

Akagay was erected as the next hare, but he was being the mega wanker and refused to carry the damn chalk tote. On ward we searched for nearly an hour but should we have turned left to find true trail going to ??? bar. Chainsaw was erected and he took NFN Scott with him leading unto an intersection turn right to find improper marks made by NFN Scott. To the amusement of the hares, seeing the hounds loop around and find the finish at the RIC nearby the movie theatre sitting on a park bench watching them walk right passed towards lion tower then again to the finish.

Potassium Pubinator and NFN Zack, would take the chalk from there and lead us to the Family Mart on the corner of 35. Shortly there after One Dog was erected only to draw a map to New Makati, and then finish. But by demand as the hashers were hungry & wanted to give non hasher Simon a proper birthday down-down but he was already gone!!!!  There we found latecummer E.M.I. The hashers found their way to wild side, attempting and succeeding at the proper birthday cheers for non hasher Mercy.

Forget who it was that hared last but we found our way back to New Makati to swing low & drink more beer.

Chainsaw Assacre

Jul 14, 2012

Hash Trash 2012 July 14 Run #464 Jail Break Run

Present: Captain Jack Swallows, Romanian Steamer, Chainsaw assacre, Papa Steamer, Lil Steamer, Akagay, Puddles the puppy pounder, Psychodrunk, STD, Meow Job, NFN Jesse
Hare(s): Twat Waffle & NFN Josh
Latecummers: Eiffel of Penis, Bent Over Board, ODS

On the latest rendition of a Twat Waffle trail, decent was the turnout for an overcast day, Hares away and 12 minutes were waited before hounds away, an early failure on the hares side as a BT towards alba bridge was already known due to hare seen back tracking. On-On after much confusion out of Nimitz Park Found Trail we did head, who said head… I mean running along towards Ishidake mountain. Trail continued up the mountain and thru some horribly marked shiggy, as we found our way following there tracks, actual tracks that is. But not before these not so devious hares were snared 2X, NFN Jesse caught them 1st, then not even 10 Minutes later, chainsaw who according to NFN Jesse, “not to be outdone”

Further down and not too far past Kujukushima Zoo & Botanical gardens  Morikirara and thanks to intel from a few locals, Then as it would be Meow Job got them a 3rd time,  thus because they were lost. Or so they say. Further along was a misspelled map going to Nimitz “bidge”  At this point in time we the frontrunners came to the conclusion that the hares hopped a taxi from there, Maybe chalk talk could have used a spelling lesson from there.

Moving right along, As Chainsaw quickly ruled out the theory of the taxi, he quickly caught up to Twat & NFN Josh again, but let them go w/ the warning that Psycho would not be so merciful. At this point the hounds were just fucking w/ them and trailed them for about a mile, despite the cluster of desperation boob checks was the map to new Makati, but before that was Puddles catching up to the hares again to make it the grand slam (4th) snare for those non sports fans who didn’t get the reference.

Noteworthy infractions: Hares snared 4X twas quite humorous to see bare asses frozen to a block of ice. The Steamer family and NFN Sue for autohashing, Eiffel, ODS and B.O.B for backsliding, and perhaps the most heinous of violations, THE NAMEE, NFN JESSE FOR EAVESDROPPING ON THE DELIBERATION!!! After much deliberation NFN Jesse: Henceforth and forever more, you shall be known as “HOMO-SKIMO” And to the end of the beer was time to swing low To a bar to bar!!! 

Free Ball Friday

Jun 11, 2012

Hash Trash 2012 June 10 #457 Die Toe Pick Up Run

Present: Psychodrunk, Turcockatron, Texas T-Bag, Sushi Cowgirl, Chainsaw Assacre, Romanian Steamer, AKAGAY, Captain Jack Swallows, Happy SM, Bent Over Board, Shows To Daddy, Twat Waffle, Daddy's Porn Star, Pull My Strings, Lil Steamer, NFN's John, Juri, Kelly, Katsunori, Alex, Virgins: Mallory, Evan

#1 Twat Waffle / Psychodrunk
#2 Psychodrunk / Twat Waffle
#3 Twat Waffle / Psychodrunk
#4 Psychodrunk / Turcockatron
#5 Turcockatron / Psychodrunk
#6 Psychodrunk / NFN John (Finish)
An experimental version of a pick up hash was started at Daito Station, vice Nimitz Park. So as Twat waffle was away, Sushi Cow Girl delighted Virgins & backsliders alike w/ the chalk talk to conclude just as the 5 minutes were up but it might as well have been the full 12 as Twat threw us all for a curve as the very 1st intersection was unusually marked & lined out confusing the hounds. Thus forth we spent 30+ minutes going by, around and thru the Daito driving school. At least until trail was found going up thru the shiggy on the far side of the school. As said trail went cold for Texas, Chainsaw, Sushi & NFN John, as was enough for the above mentioned hounds to shortcut the rest of the way. 
 Beer stop at 7-11. But not before, Turcockatron decided to stop at a playground?? Then there was a tunnel to go thru? As for Hare #2 Psycho, who of course always incorporates the use of stairs, go figure. Only to be caught by Twat waffle. Maybe he likes to eat the chalk rather than make trail marks with it. Moving right along. As the pack was making strides to catch yet another hare, which apparently was too much for STD and NFN Alex who decided to rest on the sidewalk along the way. Well at least Waffle decided to get caught in a shady spot this time.
Psycho away. As to a surprise of many. This speedracing bastard only made it about 100 meters or so before Turcockatron got him. Thus forth it seemed like those were trading snares until Psycho was caught at the end by NFN John. Then as he made the shocking discovery That Shortcutting bastards Texas T-bag and Chainsaw Assacre finished before he did!! All this while Sushi Cow Girl was nowhere to be found, hmmm. All except were outside the train station enjoying beer while waiting for the slow pack memebers.

Notable Violations include: Shows to Daddy (sleeping on trail/ or about to) Shortcutting, NFN John, T-bag, Chainsaw, Sushi. jaywalking w/in eyesight of a policeman standing outside of the Koban. (NFN John). Other hash buisness conducted at the Down-Downs were "Anal"versaries: TW (25) , CJS & B.O.B (10), and of course NFN's John / Juri (5) NFN John: Henceforth & forever more, you shall be known as "Beaver Fister" NFN Juri: Henceforth & forever more, you shall be known as " 2 Horse 2 Swallow" Ironic Twist for the Swallows Sisters? I think not!!!

Chainsaw Assacre

This run was attended by Twat Waffle, TCT, RS, Psychodrunk, CJS, SCG, Li’l Steamer, B.O.B, STD, Happy SM, PMS, TTB, DPS and NFNs John, Alex, Kelly and Juri.  This was a relay hash from Daito to the Sasebo train station.  Twat Waffle kicked off the first leg of the run.  He picked his chalk poorly (or well, if it was his intent) because after the first couple marks the Hounds spent around 20 minutes trumping around through the shiggy and alleyways before finding the right path.  Even then, in group, it was difficult to see the markings because they blended in so well with the sun-bleached pavement.  Eventually our eyes adjusted and we caught up with him at a beer stop.

Psychodrunk volunteered to take the next leg and went off in his usual, speed-kills manner.  With a five minute head start he was caught within five minutes.  After begging his case that it was happenstance that led to his capture we let him take the 3rd leg.  Again we gave him five minutes.  Again he was caught within five minutes.  Truly, not a good day for Psychodrunk!

Turcock A Tron took the fourth leg.  By this point the group started separating as the more enthusiastic (or in better shape) took to the front.  This leg was perhaps the longest of the run, but eventually he was caught sitting by a bridge watching the fish.   He claimed he was spent at that point (more on that later).

Psycho then took the fifth leg.  Off he went.  In fact, several of us hadn’t realized he was gone until looking around and not seeing him.
At this point we decided to walk an additional five minutes.  Which was a good idea for Turcock A Tron because when NFN Kelly started leaving the pack he was able to keep up with her.  Was it the resting or something else that motivated him?

About half of the hounds made it to the Sasebo train station.  However, the day was getting long, and we still needed to get to New Makati for the down down.  Using smoke signals we notified the lagging hashers that we moved to New Makati and to skip the train station.

At the down down we celebrated the analversaries of Twatwaffle (25), Bent Over Board (10) and Captain Jack Swallow (10).   But most importantly we named two NFNs!!! Let us celebrate the introductions of:

Too Horse to Swallow
Beaver Fister

On on!

Jun 3, 2012

Hash Trash 2012 June 2 #456 The Goat Sushi Debauchery Bar to Bar

We began our night at Nimitz park to the familiar sight of Hashers unnecessarily/awesomely drinking and pre-gaming our monthly bar to bar Hash.
Those in attendance were:  Psychodrunk, Captain Jack Swallows, 3MC, Eat My Ichi Go, NFN Gary, Free Ball Friday, One Dog Sleeping, Sushi Cowgirl, NFN Randy, Chocolate Brown Shit Stick (Shitty Shit Stick), NFN Jason, NFN Maki, Chainsaw Assacre (Steely Dan/DAD) and GFY.

Bar 1:  While we were still recovering from the shock of Sushi Cowgirl being present at a bar to bar he shocked us all by volunteering to Hare the first trail.  Hounds away straight across the bridge to Family Mart where we saw ourselves a beer stop and a check back.  The Hounds, clever as always, decided to skip the beer stop in order to get to a bar and spend more money.
Unfortunately, our destination was not a bar but a bench in the upper part of the Sasebo Park.  After being commanded to retrieve refreshment for his fellow Hounds Psychodrunk returned with refreshments aplenty.

Bar 2:  Our next erected Hares were ODS and NFN Randy who led us on a trail to Shooters, which was of course short cutted by GFY, Capt Jack Swallows, Sushi and Psycho.

Bar 3:  The next Hare erected was GFY who then stated that 3MC gave him an erection and requested that he also be erected to co-Hare.  GFY and 3MC proceeded to lay a stupid long trail with a CB7 only to end up a few stairs above Shooters at Cindy's.
Bar 4:  EMI made a nice little trail over to Da New Makati's
(Dangerzone/Blueball's) and we proceeded to get our drink on and oddly erect the Hash Trash writer, who was already getting trashed.
Bar 5:  Chainsaw decided to take us on the pilgrimage to Sake Town and unpredictably took us to XOXO.  Sushi and 3MC shortcutted so much that they may have beat the Hare to the finish.

Bar 6:  Sushi was erected the next Hare and off the Hounds go and so the controversy begins.  After following multiple "illegal intersection" X's we came upon a CB20 winding back to Sexy Girl.  GRY the Bar to Bar Hasherrif attempted to justify his positions existence by calling BS on the allegedly "illegally" Hared trail.  After consulting the Kangaroo court of which only consisted of Psycho and ODS (cause no one else gave a shit or was already to shitty drunk, take your pick) it was decided that the trail was easy enough to follow despite many turns and no intersections making it ok.  GFY, ever the asshole, vowed never to create another intersection if he Hared a trail.

Bar 7:  Sushi erected himself and we were on our way home to the gut of drinking central but on the way Free Ball Friday stumbled into Sushi for a Hare Snare.  We ended our trail at Playmates and oddly Sushi decided to use intersections again.

Bar 8:  Sushi gave himself another erection while simultaneously amazing his fellow Hashers with his stamina despite his advanced age.  At this point of the night I can recall things getting a bit hazy and the trail very shitty and confusing, bad combination for bar 8 of a bar to bar.  Sushi remedied the myriad issues with a tech on trail call to Psycho and we meandered on over to Bunny Bar where NFN Gary sang an awful rendition of "Glory Days", Psycho broke a fan and EMI smoked in a non smoking area (by this time we were in great bar to bar form).

Bar 9:  ODS was erected Hare and we made our first bar to bar stop at Bar G-Rock where NFN Randy dropped two cigarettes and then proceeded to smoke the shit out of both of them at the same time.

Bar 10:  CAPT Jack Swallows led us to River Rock on a drunkenly confusing trail in which we ran circles around the Love Doll/New Makati cho for what seemed like an eternity.  It was also at this time that Psychodrunk and NFN Maki disappeared for an awkwardly long amount of time (think what you will).

Bar 11:  GFY and ODS proceeded on the most obviously laid trail possible with X's the size of garbage can lids spaced about 2 feet apart leading to Wendyz.  While at Wendyz we decided to name NFN Maki and things got a little hazy.  After much deliberation she was voted by GFY and others as Kyushu Kruizer due to the fact she has never left the island of Kyushu.
Hilariously, embarrassingly and despite the fact GFY voted for Kyushu Kruizer he announced her to the Hash as DOWN AND HAPPY, which resulted in a lot of strange looks and an awesome awkward silence.  After correcting GFY's drunken mistake we swung low super half assed style and stumbled into the cool night air.

And so Hashers this ends the 456th chapter of our blurry and vomit inducing story.  ON-ON with love.

Very Respectfully Go Fuck Yourselves,

Goat Fuck Yourself


May 28, 2012

Hash Trash 2012 May 27 Psychotic Shiggy Run

There was unusually good turnout for this latest version of a shitty Psychodrunk trail.  Perhaps it was the sunny, slightly warm weather, or maybe the hashers couldn’t find better plans for the day.   Those hoping for some margin of improvement over his typical trail included Captain Jack Swallow, Train Boner, Puddles the Puppy Pounder, Chainsaw Assacre, Bent Over Board, Sushi Cow Girl, Texas T-Bag, NFN Juri, NFN Dan, NFN Jesse, NFN Liz, NFN Randy, and NFN Dana.
Everyone gathered at the Yonkacho MacDonald’s at 1300 before catching the Matsuura Railways departure from Sasebo Chuo Station up into the hinterlands.   About four stops later, the train pulled into Senpukuji Station for chalk talk and the start of the run.  After a brief hash flash on the north side of the station (aka platform with no roof), the hare was away on Run #455 around 1400.  In keeping  Sasebo HHH traditions, the pack gave the hare a full 12-min head start (Oops! Did I say H*ad?) followed by 3-min of walking, which still proved to be insufficient lead time for Psychodrunk.   
From the station, the Psychodrunk took the trail west across the tracks, along a drainage ditch and through a typically narrow westward bound street towards Route 35 (see map).   The pack ran right in front of a group of stray kittens just before the drainage ditch, but somehow Chainsaw managed to refrain from “adopting” yet another one.   At the intersection of Route 35 and Route 498, Psycho took the pack through a pedestrian tunnel, then west, then south and eventually up a foot trail that led into the forested mountain on the west side of Setogoshi-Cho. 
The trail uphill through the forest was marked only with toilet paper “hash” hung from tree branches.  There was no existing foot trail for the pack to use as then crawled, slipped, and clawed their way upward through loose soil, tree leaves and the occasional Coca Cola bottle left by previous generations.   After the hill leveled out a bit, Psychodrunk was soon snared in the middle of the forest by NFN Jesse and Chainsaw.  The pack slowly gathered amid the dead branches, and live mosquitos, waiting for the traditional 5-min to pass away. 
Once again, the pack was off!... still upward, through the shiggy, protected from the day’s bright sunshine under the forest canopy.   After another three minutes or so of clawing their way upwards, the hare was once again caught on an extremely steep slope, still in the forest.  The pack gave him another h*^d start, but before this additional five minutes was up, Psychodrunk returned to the pack to ask for directions.  Having none to give, everyone braved the gauntlet of mosquitos yet again to give Psycho time to make a decent trail. 
After pulling on tree roots, branches, and avoiding the occasional falling rock, the pack eventually arrived on somewhat of a forest plateau near the top of Mt Maedake.  A few meters to the south, Psycho guided everyone to a long lost Pacific War era Imperial Army battery overgrown with trees.  Everyone took a look inside the structure, fortunately without encountering too many creepy crawlies.  Despite the constant buzz of mosquitos hovering around, Psycho took a brief rest near the tunnel entrance.  (I don’t recall Indiana Jones ever stopping to take a rest….)  Amazingly, only a few spiders had bothered to make spider webs through the forest, and the mamushi were not yet ready to come out and play.  Still, inside the tunnel, several people noted that the walls were “moving”.

After 15-minutes or so of exploration at the battery, the pack followed the trail clockwise around the plateau, then downward through a series of seldom used hiking trails to the very much appreciated beer stop.  Sushi Cow Girl and Texas T-Bag joined the pack a few minutes later, after following a retaining wall from the first battery to a much larger (artillery?) battery that appeared to be from the “Betcha Didn’t Know” series of AFN commercials.  Given the dangers of numerous uncovered manholes in the area, and a strong desire for, detailed exploration of the site was postponed to a future date.
All members of the pack gradually arrived at the beer stop, but it seemed to take forever for Capt Jack Swallow and NFN Juri to arrive.  Sushi Cow Girl climbed back up the hill, into the forest to help them find their way, and eventually they too made it to the beer stop.
From the beer stop, the trail descended southward onto paved roads that meandered through farms and neighborhoods.   After a half hour or so, the trail passed over Sasebo River near City Hall, then to the northwest entrance of the Yonka-cho Arcade where it took a bee line for Sasebo Chuo Station.
Depending on their individual state of exhaustion, hashers either sat down, or sprawled out on the pavement in front of the station.  Psycho explained to several passers-by in Japanese that these strange people lying about were not dead, but were merely resting.  Eventually, a hermit type lady with a wheeled walker returned to her shanty under the MR track, forcing the hashers to clear a path.  Upon departing from her house a few moments later, she remarked to the pack in English:  “You should be ashamed of yourselves!” 
With most of the pack at the finish, we took that as our cue to relocate.  During the walk to Nimitz Park, we passed by Kyosai Hospital where a woman in a wheel chair asked in Japanese if ODS was among us.  Sushi Cow Girl explained that ODS was still recovering from the previous night.
At Nimitz Park, the pack assembled under a pavilion and did their best to help the Veterans Group finish their Memorial Day keg of MGD.   Mechanical malfunction of the tap apparently prevented the last drops of brew from getting out of the keg.   Hashers did their best to form a circle amongst the picnic tables of the pavilion to go through the customary accusations, and find a good hash name for NFN Dan.  After much questioning,  pondering, and verses of “Free Beer for all the hashers…”  NFN Dan was named “Free Ball Friday” in reference to his ability to make 2 sets of tighty whiteys last for four days out of a five day TDY. 
Noteworthy infractions included Capt Jack Swallows being called out for finding a human skull on trail, and failing to bring it to the hash treasure box; and Still Borne Ranger was called out for loitering around Sasebo after having fuc*ed off the week prior.  Hashers helped take down and fold the flags before moving to the second stage down-down at New Makati where the Flounder eventually caught up with the hash survivors.
On On, Texas T-Bag