Jun 11, 2012

Hash Trash 2012 June 10 #457 Die Toe Pick Up Run

Present: Psychodrunk, Turcockatron, Texas T-Bag, Sushi Cowgirl, Chainsaw Assacre, Romanian Steamer, AKAGAY, Captain Jack Swallows, Happy SM, Bent Over Board, Shows To Daddy, Twat Waffle, Daddy's Porn Star, Pull My Strings, Lil Steamer, NFN's John, Juri, Kelly, Katsunori, Alex, Virgins: Mallory, Evan

#1 Twat Waffle / Psychodrunk
#2 Psychodrunk / Twat Waffle
#3 Twat Waffle / Psychodrunk
#4 Psychodrunk / Turcockatron
#5 Turcockatron / Psychodrunk
#6 Psychodrunk / NFN John (Finish)
An experimental version of a pick up hash was started at Daito Station, vice Nimitz Park. So as Twat waffle was away, Sushi Cow Girl delighted Virgins & backsliders alike w/ the chalk talk to conclude just as the 5 minutes were up but it might as well have been the full 12 as Twat threw us all for a curve as the very 1st intersection was unusually marked & lined out confusing the hounds. Thus forth we spent 30+ minutes going by, around and thru the Daito driving school. At least until trail was found going up thru the shiggy on the far side of the school. As said trail went cold for Texas, Chainsaw, Sushi & NFN John, as was enough for the above mentioned hounds to shortcut the rest of the way. 
 Beer stop at 7-11. But not before, Turcockatron decided to stop at a playground?? Then there was a tunnel to go thru? As for Hare #2 Psycho, who of course always incorporates the use of stairs, go figure. Only to be caught by Twat waffle. Maybe he likes to eat the chalk rather than make trail marks with it. Moving right along. As the pack was making strides to catch yet another hare, which apparently was too much for STD and NFN Alex who decided to rest on the sidewalk along the way. Well at least Waffle decided to get caught in a shady spot this time.
Psycho away. As to a surprise of many. This speedracing bastard only made it about 100 meters or so before Turcockatron got him. Thus forth it seemed like those were trading snares until Psycho was caught at the end by NFN John. Then as he made the shocking discovery That Shortcutting bastards Texas T-bag and Chainsaw Assacre finished before he did!! All this while Sushi Cow Girl was nowhere to be found, hmmm. All except were outside the train station enjoying beer while waiting for the slow pack memebers.

Notable Violations include: Shows to Daddy (sleeping on trail/ or about to) Shortcutting, NFN John, T-bag, Chainsaw, Sushi. jaywalking w/in eyesight of a policeman standing outside of the Koban. (NFN John). Other hash buisness conducted at the Down-Downs were "Anal"versaries: TW (25) , CJS & B.O.B (10), and of course NFN's John / Juri (5) NFN John: Henceforth & forever more, you shall be known as "Beaver Fister" NFN Juri: Henceforth & forever more, you shall be known as " 2 Horse 2 Swallow" Ironic Twist for the Swallows Sisters? I think not!!!

Chainsaw Assacre

This run was attended by Twat Waffle, TCT, RS, Psychodrunk, CJS, SCG, Li’l Steamer, B.O.B, STD, Happy SM, PMS, TTB, DPS and NFNs John, Alex, Kelly and Juri.  This was a relay hash from Daito to the Sasebo train station.  Twat Waffle kicked off the first leg of the run.  He picked his chalk poorly (or well, if it was his intent) because after the first couple marks the Hounds spent around 20 minutes trumping around through the shiggy and alleyways before finding the right path.  Even then, in group, it was difficult to see the markings because they blended in so well with the sun-bleached pavement.  Eventually our eyes adjusted and we caught up with him at a beer stop.

Psychodrunk volunteered to take the next leg and went off in his usual, speed-kills manner.  With a five minute head start he was caught within five minutes.  After begging his case that it was happenstance that led to his capture we let him take the 3rd leg.  Again we gave him five minutes.  Again he was caught within five minutes.  Truly, not a good day for Psychodrunk!

Turcock A Tron took the fourth leg.  By this point the group started separating as the more enthusiastic (or in better shape) took to the front.  This leg was perhaps the longest of the run, but eventually he was caught sitting by a bridge watching the fish.   He claimed he was spent at that point (more on that later).

Psycho then took the fifth leg.  Off he went.  In fact, several of us hadn’t realized he was gone until looking around and not seeing him.
At this point we decided to walk an additional five minutes.  Which was a good idea for Turcock A Tron because when NFN Kelly started leaving the pack he was able to keep up with her.  Was it the resting or something else that motivated him?

About half of the hounds made it to the Sasebo train station.  However, the day was getting long, and we still needed to get to New Makati for the down down.  Using smoke signals we notified the lagging hashers that we moved to New Makati and to skip the train station.

At the down down we celebrated the analversaries of Twatwaffle (25), Bent Over Board (10) and Captain Jack Swallow (10).   But most importantly we named two NFNs!!! Let us celebrate the introductions of:

Too Horse to Swallow
Beaver Fister

On on!

Jun 3, 2012

Hash Trash 2012 June 2 #456 The Goat Sushi Debauchery Bar to Bar

We began our night at Nimitz park to the familiar sight of Hashers unnecessarily/awesomely drinking and pre-gaming our monthly bar to bar Hash.
Those in attendance were:  Psychodrunk, Captain Jack Swallows, 3MC, Eat My Ichi Go, NFN Gary, Free Ball Friday, One Dog Sleeping, Sushi Cowgirl, NFN Randy, Chocolate Brown Shit Stick (Shitty Shit Stick), NFN Jason, NFN Maki, Chainsaw Assacre (Steely Dan/DAD) and GFY.

Bar 1:  While we were still recovering from the shock of Sushi Cowgirl being present at a bar to bar he shocked us all by volunteering to Hare the first trail.  Hounds away straight across the bridge to Family Mart where we saw ourselves a beer stop and a check back.  The Hounds, clever as always, decided to skip the beer stop in order to get to a bar and spend more money.
Unfortunately, our destination was not a bar but a bench in the upper part of the Sasebo Park.  After being commanded to retrieve refreshment for his fellow Hounds Psychodrunk returned with refreshments aplenty.

Bar 2:  Our next erected Hares were ODS and NFN Randy who led us on a trail to Shooters, which was of course short cutted by GFY, Capt Jack Swallows, Sushi and Psycho.

Bar 3:  The next Hare erected was GFY who then stated that 3MC gave him an erection and requested that he also be erected to co-Hare.  GFY and 3MC proceeded to lay a stupid long trail with a CB7 only to end up a few stairs above Shooters at Cindy's.
Bar 4:  EMI made a nice little trail over to Da New Makati's
(Dangerzone/Blueball's) and we proceeded to get our drink on and oddly erect the Hash Trash writer, who was already getting trashed.
Bar 5:  Chainsaw decided to take us on the pilgrimage to Sake Town and unpredictably took us to XOXO.  Sushi and 3MC shortcutted so much that they may have beat the Hare to the finish.

Bar 6:  Sushi was erected the next Hare and off the Hounds go and so the controversy begins.  After following multiple "illegal intersection" X's we came upon a CB20 winding back to Sexy Girl.  GRY the Bar to Bar Hasherrif attempted to justify his positions existence by calling BS on the allegedly "illegally" Hared trail.  After consulting the Kangaroo court of which only consisted of Psycho and ODS (cause no one else gave a shit or was already to shitty drunk, take your pick) it was decided that the trail was easy enough to follow despite many turns and no intersections making it ok.  GFY, ever the asshole, vowed never to create another intersection if he Hared a trail.

Bar 7:  Sushi erected himself and we were on our way home to the gut of drinking central but on the way Free Ball Friday stumbled into Sushi for a Hare Snare.  We ended our trail at Playmates and oddly Sushi decided to use intersections again.

Bar 8:  Sushi gave himself another erection while simultaneously amazing his fellow Hashers with his stamina despite his advanced age.  At this point of the night I can recall things getting a bit hazy and the trail very shitty and confusing, bad combination for bar 8 of a bar to bar.  Sushi remedied the myriad issues with a tech on trail call to Psycho and we meandered on over to Bunny Bar where NFN Gary sang an awful rendition of "Glory Days", Psycho broke a fan and EMI smoked in a non smoking area (by this time we were in great bar to bar form).

Bar 9:  ODS was erected Hare and we made our first bar to bar stop at Bar G-Rock where NFN Randy dropped two cigarettes and then proceeded to smoke the shit out of both of them at the same time.

Bar 10:  CAPT Jack Swallows led us to River Rock on a drunkenly confusing trail in which we ran circles around the Love Doll/New Makati cho for what seemed like an eternity.  It was also at this time that Psychodrunk and NFN Maki disappeared for an awkwardly long amount of time (think what you will).

Bar 11:  GFY and ODS proceeded on the most obviously laid trail possible with X's the size of garbage can lids spaced about 2 feet apart leading to Wendyz.  While at Wendyz we decided to name NFN Maki and things got a little hazy.  After much deliberation she was voted by GFY and others as Kyushu Kruizer due to the fact she has never left the island of Kyushu.
Hilariously, embarrassingly and despite the fact GFY voted for Kyushu Kruizer he announced her to the Hash as DOWN AND HAPPY, which resulted in a lot of strange looks and an awesome awkward silence.  After correcting GFY's drunken mistake we swung low super half assed style and stumbled into the cool night air.

And so Hashers this ends the 456th chapter of our blurry and vomit inducing story.  ON-ON with love.

Very Respectfully Go Fuck Yourselves,

Goat Fuck Yourself