May 28, 2012

Hash Trash 2012 May 27 Psychotic Shiggy Run

There was unusually good turnout for this latest version of a shitty Psychodrunk trail.  Perhaps it was the sunny, slightly warm weather, or maybe the hashers couldn’t find better plans for the day.   Those hoping for some margin of improvement over his typical trail included Captain Jack Swallow, Train Boner, Puddles the Puppy Pounder, Chainsaw Assacre, Bent Over Board, Sushi Cow Girl, Texas T-Bag, NFN Juri, NFN Dan, NFN Jesse, NFN Liz, NFN Randy, and NFN Dana.
Everyone gathered at the Yonkacho MacDonald’s at 1300 before catching the Matsuura Railways departure from Sasebo Chuo Station up into the hinterlands.   About four stops later, the train pulled into Senpukuji Station for chalk talk and the start of the run.  After a brief hash flash on the north side of the station (aka platform with no roof), the hare was away on Run #455 around 1400.  In keeping  Sasebo HHH traditions, the pack gave the hare a full 12-min head start (Oops! Did I say H*ad?) followed by 3-min of walking, which still proved to be insufficient lead time for Psychodrunk.   
From the station, the Psychodrunk took the trail west across the tracks, along a drainage ditch and through a typically narrow westward bound street towards Route 35 (see map).   The pack ran right in front of a group of stray kittens just before the drainage ditch, but somehow Chainsaw managed to refrain from “adopting” yet another one.   At the intersection of Route 35 and Route 498, Psycho took the pack through a pedestrian tunnel, then west, then south and eventually up a foot trail that led into the forested mountain on the west side of Setogoshi-Cho. 
The trail uphill through the forest was marked only with toilet paper “hash” hung from tree branches.  There was no existing foot trail for the pack to use as then crawled, slipped, and clawed their way upward through loose soil, tree leaves and the occasional Coca Cola bottle left by previous generations.   After the hill leveled out a bit, Psychodrunk was soon snared in the middle of the forest by NFN Jesse and Chainsaw.  The pack slowly gathered amid the dead branches, and live mosquitos, waiting for the traditional 5-min to pass away. 
Once again, the pack was off!... still upward, through the shiggy, protected from the day’s bright sunshine under the forest canopy.   After another three minutes or so of clawing their way upwards, the hare was once again caught on an extremely steep slope, still in the forest.  The pack gave him another h*^d start, but before this additional five minutes was up, Psychodrunk returned to the pack to ask for directions.  Having none to give, everyone braved the gauntlet of mosquitos yet again to give Psycho time to make a decent trail. 
After pulling on tree roots, branches, and avoiding the occasional falling rock, the pack eventually arrived on somewhat of a forest plateau near the top of Mt Maedake.  A few meters to the south, Psycho guided everyone to a long lost Pacific War era Imperial Army battery overgrown with trees.  Everyone took a look inside the structure, fortunately without encountering too many creepy crawlies.  Despite the constant buzz of mosquitos hovering around, Psycho took a brief rest near the tunnel entrance.  (I don’t recall Indiana Jones ever stopping to take a rest….)  Amazingly, only a few spiders had bothered to make spider webs through the forest, and the mamushi were not yet ready to come out and play.  Still, inside the tunnel, several people noted that the walls were “moving”.

After 15-minutes or so of exploration at the battery, the pack followed the trail clockwise around the plateau, then downward through a series of seldom used hiking trails to the very much appreciated beer stop.  Sushi Cow Girl and Texas T-Bag joined the pack a few minutes later, after following a retaining wall from the first battery to a much larger (artillery?) battery that appeared to be from the “Betcha Didn’t Know” series of AFN commercials.  Given the dangers of numerous uncovered manholes in the area, and a strong desire for, detailed exploration of the site was postponed to a future date.
All members of the pack gradually arrived at the beer stop, but it seemed to take forever for Capt Jack Swallow and NFN Juri to arrive.  Sushi Cow Girl climbed back up the hill, into the forest to help them find their way, and eventually they too made it to the beer stop.
From the beer stop, the trail descended southward onto paved roads that meandered through farms and neighborhoods.   After a half hour or so, the trail passed over Sasebo River near City Hall, then to the northwest entrance of the Yonka-cho Arcade where it took a bee line for Sasebo Chuo Station.
Depending on their individual state of exhaustion, hashers either sat down, or sprawled out on the pavement in front of the station.  Psycho explained to several passers-by in Japanese that these strange people lying about were not dead, but were merely resting.  Eventually, a hermit type lady with a wheeled walker returned to her shanty under the MR track, forcing the hashers to clear a path.  Upon departing from her house a few moments later, she remarked to the pack in English:  “You should be ashamed of yourselves!” 
With most of the pack at the finish, we took that as our cue to relocate.  During the walk to Nimitz Park, we passed by Kyosai Hospital where a woman in a wheel chair asked in Japanese if ODS was among us.  Sushi Cow Girl explained that ODS was still recovering from the previous night.
At Nimitz Park, the pack assembled under a pavilion and did their best to help the Veterans Group finish their Memorial Day keg of MGD.   Mechanical malfunction of the tap apparently prevented the last drops of brew from getting out of the keg.   Hashers did their best to form a circle amongst the picnic tables of the pavilion to go through the customary accusations, and find a good hash name for NFN Dan.  After much questioning,  pondering, and verses of “Free Beer for all the hashers…”  NFN Dan was named “Free Ball Friday” in reference to his ability to make 2 sets of tighty whiteys last for four days out of a five day TDY. 
Noteworthy infractions included Capt Jack Swallows being called out for finding a human skull on trail, and failing to bring it to the hash treasure box; and Still Borne Ranger was called out for loitering around Sasebo after having fuc*ed off the week prior.  Hashers helped take down and fold the flags before moving to the second stage down-down at New Makati where the Flounder eventually caught up with the hash survivors.
On On, Texas T-Bag

May 15, 2012

Hash Trash 2012 May 13 #452 Stillborne Waffle Run (Awful Waffle Run)

Hashers Present: Potassium Pubinator, Chocolate Shit Stick, Chainsaw Assacre, Secret Slip Enside, Romanian Steamer, Psychodrunk, Twat Waffle, Goat Fuck Yourself, Screw Drive Her, Stillborne Ranger, Bent Over Board, NFN’s Taylor, Brian, Dan, Kurina, Charles & Alex, Travis, Chelsea
Virgins Ty, Jenn, Alex
Backsliders: Trat, Follows Children, 3MC, Sushi Cow Girl, Akagay, $1 Boy Kay Toy, Daddy’s Porn star, Turcockatron, Pull My Strings, Incestuous In Salmonator,
Hare: Twat Waffle
Latecummers: ODS, Pai Pan Sphincter

So What had Happened was: on a semi overcast Sunday afternoon, which happened to be quite a fashionable turn out as many a backslider were there. Twat waffle as the hare this afternoon giving the chalk talk then to be blessed and away w/ direction to find beer. Brief continuation of chalk talk was to follow along with Psychodrunk to advertise for the Nash Hash like he was a sleazy time share salesman. So as 12 minutes passed; hounds away. However backslider Tur-cocka-tron & daddy’s porn star forgot about the 3 minutes of walking. WHOOPS!!! Anyhow, moving right along,  As the trail it’s self was uber-shitty and not to hard for the pursuing pack to figure out, As a secret informant was happy to rat out Twat waffle, but not until after the CB20 was detected. Upwards, and onwards to what seemed like we were going up to Mt. Yumihari AGAIN! Was yet another informant who was happy to dime out TW.  Ever so closely sniffing out for the fleeing hare and beer we continued up the steps thru to a 5 way intersection onwards onto a private driveway as we would discover later. Hare Snare #1 and the honors go to Follows Children. Twat Waffle Claims to have done this on Purpose for a hash flash w/ a view, or so he says.
While holding out for Incestuous Insalmonator, for this view the hounds ultimately were bored and released Twat Waffle directing him to find beer. Finally into the shiggy, where proper trail would get cold and the pack was lost for what seemed like hours & hours As all the hounds searched the woods for no further sign of trail, where a local gardner came out and warned us about venomous snakes & not to cut thru his garden where we suspected the real trail ultimately went.
As the pack made their way up to the top onto the street above, where no trail was found in a scope of 369°, As it seemed like all damn day searching in vain a few hashers finally found trail, where as most gave up & short cutted back to Nimitz Park. Thus resulting in a social for more than 69% of the hash would be shortcutting bastards.
Meanwhile those who did find true trail continued on, As Sushi Cow Girl ultimately caught TW for snare #2. Not too long after that The not so slick hare was spotted again by 3mc who in pursuit slid down the hill taking some bamboo with him gave chase to make the capture for #3. Holy shit, The 1st ever HAT TRICK snare in Sasebo H3 “hash”tory!!! As he would be punished for in a unique manner, (ice in his shorts)
On-On to the finish which was at New Makati for the down-downs and hash business such as SBR’s fuckoff, TCT & SBR’s 10th anal-versary, Twat Waffle who would do his 1st down-down from a baby bottle as he became a father, & NFN Kurina who, Now and forever more be known as “Lil Steamer” After swing low a few hashers would stay to drink more beer and empty the Keg.

Chainsaw Assacre

Hash Trash 2012 May 11 Post Meeting Bar to Bar #(450.5) 451

Hashers Present: A.S.U.T.A, One Dog Sleeping, Goat Fuck yourself, Twat Waffle, 3mc, B.O.B, & NFN Bryan (Virgin)
#1: Twat Waffle: Shitty trail to Playmates Surprisingly not caught this time.
#2: O.D.S: To Wild Side.
#3: B.O.B / NFN Bryan: a “hare” brained route to Bunny bar for (beer pong a plenty)
#4: Anti-Seize Up the ass to: 2nd house: Where proper virgin interrogation occurred.
#5: Goat Fuck yourself : Sky’s the limit
#6:  Twat waffle again:  On-On To hash bar Makati
#7: A.S.U.T.A: Gramophone for swing low

So there we were, no bullshit: As it was a decent turnout of 7 for the unscheduled post meeting bar to bar. As Twat waffle was away, Bent Over Board actually gave his virgin proper hash-ucation as we waited for the 5 minutes: Onwards for a ½ ass trail to Playmates, as it it was made up for for the intro of the Virgin to fellow hashers Lesbian Butt Flower, & Snowball.  Erected as next hare, One Dog Sleeping would lead the pack to Wild Sidhe where was originally thought was gonna be quiet enough to question NFN Bryan, but it wasn’t, Thus forth, B.O.B was erected & he brought NFN Bryan w/ him on a “hare” brained route to Bunny bar, but there was beer pong a plenty!!! That’s right, beer pong!!! So we stayed a long enough for a game. A first for the hash, but definitely not the last, It was there that ODS brought motion to rename Twat Waffle to awful, waffle subsequently denied by the kangaroo court. Next up was Anti-seize up the ass who set out for 2nd house, where we conducted the virgin interrogation who has thus far proven himself to be a hasher. Goat Fuck yourself would take the pack to Sky’s the Limit where 3mc would be given a proper fuck off. Twat waffle would take the chalk again for trail to Makati, A semi regular hash bar that was unfortunately too crowded for hash business. Short lived was the stay and last but not least Anti-Sieze up the ass would lead us to Gramophone for the 7th and final bar where we would drink more beer then swing low, and drink more beer!

Chainsaw Assacre

May 7, 2012

Hash Trash 2012 May 5 Run #450 Cinco / Drinko / Chinko De Mayo Pub Crawl

Hashers Present: Psychodrunk, Romanian Steamer, Twat Waffle, Chainsaw Assacre, Chocolate Brown Shitstick, Stillborne Ranger, NFN’s Toshi, Eri, & Raymond.
Late cummers: Goat Fuck yourself, One Dog Sleeping, e-Kimchi, Happy SM, NFN Dan, NFN ??, & Guest Hasher Trainboner.
Hare #1:   Psychodrunk, A shitty trail to Torakichi Restaurant
Hare #2:   Psychodrunk again, For a Shitty trail to Anchor
Hare #3:   Twat Waffle, Snared on a bar to bar again?
Hare #3.2  Chainsaw Assacre, overly bragging about a 6th hare snare On-On to  Stand bar Shimezo.
Hare #4     One Dog Sleeping: A craptastic trail to Sexy Girl (Where Happy SM would join the pack)
Hare #5     Goat Fuck Yourself, Semi Devious enroute to Bar Flap.
Hare #6     Happy SM, Thru the Stairway of Twinkle Nishizawa to Takuan No Shippo. Latecummer, e-kimchi joined the pack.
Hare #7+   e-Kimchi/NFN Eri: Debauchery a plenty going to Baypoint.
Hare #8     C.S.S / NFN Raymond: to D’new Makati: for the interrogation & namings:
Hare #9    ??? On-On to the River Rock,
Hare #10  O.D.S, Really snared on such an ubershort shitty trail (I think he did that on Purpose)
Hare #11  C.A A simple turkey trail to Playmates for swing low
Hare #12  ??? for the On-On at ??
It was a pleasant Saturday evening, just as it conveniently happened to be Cinco/Drinko/Chinko De Mayo and a hell of a good reason for a pub crawl in true H3 fashion as we also had honoring us w/ his presence Guest hasher Train Boner (T.B) As chalk talk was completed hares away enroute on a uber long 1st bar trail that would lead us up to & past city hall to Torakichi Restauraunt. Where Psycho would be commended for a S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L, NFN Raymond the would be a speed racing bastard. Romanian Steamer for tech on trail would be given honors via down-down. Then Joined by late cummer, ODS.
Hares away, it’s Psychodrunk again for a not so long run to Anchor bar, where as shortcutting bastard C.A would turn out to be the last bastard in, go f!@#$% figure. Where as we picked up new Hasher NFN Dan. T.B. would be called out / celebrated as an honored guest to the tune of brother hasher while drinking a chu-hai, Thought this was a beer drinking club? As we found out it was the internet that made him cum?
 This time twat waffle, was erected, & his route, would lead us to? Well we have no idea as C.A. spotted the hare & gave chase, Thru a valiant effort to ditch the pursuing hounds T.W was eventually snared, Hare 3.2, Chainsaw would lead the pack to the near far end of Sake town around the bend to Stand bar Shimezo. Down-Downs were celebrated and a good time was had by all.
Next up would be ODS, to take us to Sexy Girl where me met up w/ non-hasher Erin, to meet up w/ Happy SM, unfortunately we had to give a F!@#$ off for Romanian Steamer.
Goat fuck yourself was erected from there and away to Bar Flap: Here it was announced that the Annual Meeting would be at new Makati on Friday the 11th.
Happy SM away to Takuan No Shippo with the Awesome chalk drawing of Stitch in the (head, who said head) I meant the bathroom. R-U? Says e-Kimchi upon her late entrance. As it was a night of  “ANAL-versaries” So we began interrogating NFN’ Raymond & Eri,
E-Kimchi along w/ NFN Eri laid a semi devious trail to baypoint with perhaps some debauchery in there as well? Here is where C.S.S was punished for his heinous new shoes violation, as well as the learning about virgin NFN Dan. TB was also given a proper F!@#$ off.
NFN Raymond and CSS would lead to New Makati for the all to partake in the honored naming tradition, Moving right along, Upon the finish of a rigorous interrogation we learned much, so NFN Raymond now and forever more, you shall be known as  “Bent On Board or B.O.B. NFN Eri now and forever more, you shall be known as “Captain Jack Swallows”
?? Would then lead the hounds to River Rock, as such, well I forget but O.D.S would be #10, Only to supposedly ran out of chalk (or so he says) To Be caught by Goat Fuck yourself, Then an oh fuck it as we ended up in bar paradise. Nearing the end but deciding to go for another round of shitty trail it was Chainsaw away to Playmates to meet up with Frashfrower and Snowball. The End as we do in Hash Tradition, Swing low was sung. “May the Hash Get A Piece” Or So we thought, Whoever strung up trail #12? I guess it was for the On-On.


Chainsaw Assacre