Aug 28, 2011

Hash Trash 2011 August 28 Hash Paralympics

Hashers gathered at JR Huistenbosch station at 2PM on 28 August to celebrate the special para-olympics hash, hared by Sphincter as he hobbled along streets, up hills, stairways and promenades in his attempt to lead the Sasebo H3 pack to the promised land of cold beer.

Per reports heard by the pack, the quasi-immobile hare had actually started laying trail at noon, almost two hours prior the pack’s 2PM start. Consequently, the pack paid little heed to the long standing traditions of the Sasebo H3 that involved the pack walking for three minutes out of the start. From the start, the pack headed out the east exit of JR Huistenbosch, where they had gathered for chalk-talk. Psychodrunk and No-Name (chaplain?) were borderline racists as they lead the hashers along Route 205 south toward Haenosaki, looking for true trail.

The first intersection was found in front of a small shrine, just a few hundred meters east of the station. Texas T-bag led hashers across Rt 205, where the trail quickly descended into “Downtown” Haenosaki. The trail made a counter clockwise course through the residential streets, eventually leading across the salt water canal to the south, and heading east towards Nagata-cho. After a cleverly laid trail descending into a bamboo grove, the packers found a “check back 69” that forced a 5-minute U-turn back towards Haenozaki Station. From the north side of the Haenozaki guest hotel, the hare drew a quick and dirty map that showed the pack how to cross the original trail and head up the hill towards JR Huistenbosch Station. Under the station, next to Happy SM’s car, the pack finally discovered another map instructing the pack to cross the pedestrian bridge toward the ANA hotel, to pick up the next segment of trail.

Hashers headed south along the channel, eventually finding a “checkback 69/3” that brought the pack in another U-turn to the Huistenbosch parking lot exit. The pack crossed the parking lot and picked up trail along the main road leading to Hario, but soon crossed the street to pick up the trail heading north along the main road. At Huistenbosch bridge, the tail descended to a public park where the hare mercifully pointed out a source of water to the pack. From there the trail crossed to the west side of the main road, and headed north along several small farms, eventually ending at Sphincter’s house.

As the run had taken place during the heat of the day, without a single cloud in sight, the pack was understandably relieved to see the “Beer Near” sign and looked forward to some cool beer to quench the intense thirst built up by the pack during the 80 minutes of trail. However, the pack was shocked to find only 2 Asahi Dry beers and an old MGD waiting for all to share. After 20 minutes at the finish, the hare finally emerged from his house to take Happy SM and Akagay back to the start to pick up their rides. The hare also STARTED his hash shopping from that point, as the pack slowly cooled off while sharing a case of bottled water. The pack watched jet-skiers pass by on the Haiki channel while killing time.

After more than an hour at the finish, the hare finally returned to the finish, with a 5L mini-keg of Heineken and a case or two of MGD that was just starting to cool down on ice. The mini-keg seemed to lift the spirits of the hashers quite a bit, but they still called for blood in the form of a down-down from the hare for totally fuc**ing up the down-down festivities.

With beverages abundant, hashers were able to quickly charge their vessels, and the circle soon formed. First to drink was the hare for laying a S-H-I-T-T-Y trail, followed by Texas T-Bag for being the front running bastard. Happy SM was called to drink for being the first *itch to finish, but it was quickly revealed that she had written 16:20 as her finish time, instead of 15:20. Calls for all lesbians to drink soon filled the air, so iiKimochi, and I-Phonicator joined her in the circle for the first of many social down-downs. While at the circle, the pack ran through the traditional list of infractions, including footwear, and Nike “swoosh” gear. On several occasions, those with mismanagement experience were called to join the evil-doer in the circle under the auspices of a group down-down. Finally Chainsaw Assacre changed the theme of the evening by posing a somewhat serious question to the circle: “Why doesn’t Sasebo HHH host the Nash Hash?” Spinchter and Texas T-Bag explained the process of “earning” the Nash Hash bid, from the initial lobbying efforts at the current Nash Hash, to political fallout associated with hosting the Nash Hash. The Kangaroo court suggested multiple locations for a possible Sasebo Nash Hash, including camping cabins at Lake Isanoura in Saikai City, to an overnighter in Ureshino Onsen, to a pristine beach in the Goto Islands, to a campground near Ryumon Dam in Arita City. Psychodrunk adamantly rejected the Ureshino proposal, citing his ability to continue to live there as a concern. Eventually the votes of the pack seemed to center on a campground at Ryumon Lake near Arita City, where Psychodrunk said there was an abundance of possible hash trails. The pack decided to pursue such an overnighter as a Sasebo HHH exclusive event, to test the feasibility of a potential Nash Hash bid.

Everything seemed to be going fine, when the pack ran out of beer. Not only had the hare failed to buy beer for the finish, the beer he bought was not enough to last for a reasonable duration down-down. Soon, Happy and some volunteers were dispatched to the nearest convenience store to buy some beer, but instead, the returned with two 6-packs of “happoshu”, a disgusting concoction of peas, beans, and other low left-over vegetables acquired by brewing companies to undermine Japanese beer tax laws. Texas T-Bag protested but the pack just didn’t seem to understand the calamity at hand.

After ordering curry rice for delivery, the pack sang “Swing Low” and retired to Sphincter’s house to “endure” the happoshu while waiting for the curry rice to arrive.

OnOn, Texas T-Bag

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