Hash Trash 2011 August 28 Hash Paralympics

Hashers gathered at JR Huistenbosch station at 2PM on 28 August to celebrate the special para-olympics hash, hared by Sphincter as he hobbled along streets, up hills, stairways and promenades in his attempt to lead the Sasebo H3 pack to the promised land of cold beer.

Per reports heard by the pack, the quasi-immobile hare had actually started laying trail at noon, almost two hours prior the pack’s 2PM start. Consequently, the pack paid little heed to the long standing traditions of the Sasebo H3 that involved the pack walking for three minutes out of the start. From the start, the pack headed out the east exit of JR Huistenbosch, where they had gathered for chalk-talk. Psychodrunk and No-Name (chaplain?) were borderline racists as they lead the hashers along Route 205 south toward Haenosaki, looking for true trail.

The first intersection was found in front of a small shrine, just a few hundred meters east of the station. Texas T-bag led hashers across Rt 205, where the trail quickly descended into “Downtown” Haenosaki. The trail made a counter clockwise course through the residential streets, eventually leading across the salt water canal to the south, and heading east towards Nagata-cho. After a cleverly laid trail descending into a bamboo grove, the packers found a “check back 69” that forced a 5-minute U-turn back towards Haenozaki Station. From the north side of the Haenozaki guest hotel, the hare drew a quick and dirty map that showed the pack how to cross the original trail and head up the hill towards JR Huistenbosch Station. Under the station, next to Happy SM’s car, the pack finally discovered another map instructing the pack to cross the pedestrian bridge toward the ANA hotel, to pick up the next segment of trail.

Hashers headed south along the channel, eventually finding a “checkback 69/3” that brought the pack in another U-turn to the Huistenbosch parking lot exit. The pack crossed the parking lot and picked up trail along the main road leading to Hario, but soon crossed the street to pick up the trail heading north along the main road. At Huistenbosch bridge, the tail descended to a public park where the hare mercifully pointed out a source of water to the pack. From there the trail crossed to the west side of the main road, and headed north along several small farms, eventually ending at Sphincter’s house.

As the run had taken place during the heat of the day, without a single cloud in sight, the pack was understandably relieved to see the “Beer Near” sign and looked forward to some cool beer to quench the intense thirst built up by the pack during the 80 minutes of trail. However, the pack was shocked to find only 2 Asahi Dry beers and an old MGD waiting for all to share. After 20 minutes at the finish, the hare finally emerged from his house to take Happy SM and Akagay back to the start to pick up their rides. The hare also STARTED his hash shopping from that point, as the pack slowly cooled off while sharing a case of bottled water. The pack watched jet-skiers pass by on the Haiki channel while killing time.

After more than an hour at the finish, the hare finally returned to the finish, with a 5L mini-keg of Heineken and a case or two of MGD that was just starting to cool down on ice. The mini-keg seemed to lift the spirits of the hashers quite a bit, but they still called for blood in the form of a down-down from the hare for totally fuc**ing up the down-down festivities.

With beverages abundant, hashers were able to quickly charge their vessels, and the circle soon formed. First to drink was the hare for laying a S-H-I-T-T-Y trail, followed by Texas T-Bag for being the front running bastard. Happy SM was called to drink for being the first *itch to finish, but it was quickly revealed that she had written 16:20 as her finish time, instead of 15:20. Calls for all lesbians to drink soon filled the air, so iiKimochi, and I-Phonicator joined her in the circle for the first of many social down-downs. While at the circle, the pack ran through the traditional list of infractions, including footwear, and Nike “swoosh” gear. On several occasions, those with mismanagement experience were called to join the evil-doer in the circle under the auspices of a group down-down. Finally Chainsaw Assacre changed the theme of the evening by posing a somewhat serious question to the circle: “Why doesn’t Sasebo HHH host the Nash Hash?” Spinchter and Texas T-Bag explained the process of “earning” the Nash Hash bid, from the initial lobbying efforts at the current Nash Hash, to political fallout associated with hosting the Nash Hash. The Kangaroo court suggested multiple locations for a possible Sasebo Nash Hash, including camping cabins at Lake Isanoura in Saikai City, to an overnighter in Ureshino Onsen, to a pristine beach in the Goto Islands, to a campground near Ryumon Dam in Arita City. Psychodrunk adamantly rejected the Ureshino proposal, citing his ability to continue to live there as a concern. Eventually the votes of the pack seemed to center on a campground at Ryumon Lake near Arita City, where Psychodrunk said there was an abundance of possible hash trails. The pack decided to pursue such an overnighter as a Sasebo HHH exclusive event, to test the feasibility of a potential Nash Hash bid.

Everything seemed to be going fine, when the pack ran out of beer. Not only had the hare failed to buy beer for the finish, the beer he bought was not enough to last for a reasonable duration down-down. Soon, Happy and some volunteers were dispatched to the nearest convenience store to buy some beer, but instead, the returned with two 6-packs of “happoshu”, a disgusting concoction of peas, beans, and other low left-over vegetables acquired by brewing companies to undermine Japanese beer tax laws. Texas T-Bag protested but the pack just didn’t seem to understand the calamity at hand.

After ordering curry rice for delivery, the pack sang “Swing Low” and retired to Sphincter’s house to “endure” the happoshu while waiting for the curry rice to arrive.

OnOn, Texas T-Bag

Hash Trash 2011 July 10 #407 Shrine Run A.K.A “The Lame Hare”

It all started on a hellfire hot Sunday afternoon at Shimanose Park right by the Starbucks. Not too long after the lame hare Psychodrunk had concluded the chalk talk. Hare away, shortly there after we would be cross paths with the G.I Hobo again. Meanwhile Brown Eye Dragon & NFN Sandra would try to get some “pussy” A 3-way before trail? Awesome idea, but that was not the case. 12 minutes later “hounds away” Across 35, over the ditch & thru the woods to hash house we shall go. I say thbru the ditch, because Sushi Cow Girl decided to, just because he can I guess. Trail was soon regained up the stairs then down over into a small patch of shiggy by an empty water tank. Shortly thereafter we passed hotel 21, but failed to do a whistle check. Past the hotel up the street then to a residential section of town where we almost got lost again. At this point O.D.S discovered the 1^st of 2 pieces of hash treasure in form a page from a porno mag. Up the ladder into another small section shiggy and onward the pack was in pursuit. Up and down the hills and stairs where we would discover dead pussy on trail. Down, Up and over is where O.D.S would have to call it quits, damn the heat. NFN Sandra also had to cut it short as to make sure ODS got into a cab & made it back. They would later be accused of sex in the cab during the down-down. Back on the street past the construction site is where Chainsaw Assacre found a dart gun which is the 2^nd bit of hash treasure. Further along past a series of intersections, the hounds would find a CB 6 lthus leaving us confused and searching for damn near ½ an hour until true trail was found again. This would lead the pack into some more shiggy and finally the only shrine we would pass thru. Trail was further followed up the hill into more shiggy. Up to the top the pack nearly lost trail again but not for long as we would ultimately trespass thru a small tunnel leading to a parking lot of what looked like a monastery. Down around the bend is where Psychodrunk would be snared by Sushi Cow Girl and Manko……Polo. After 10 minutes, it was hounds away again. Upon resuming the pursuit, The pack found the beer stop. This is the point where Sushi and Manko would take over for an injured Psychodrunk to lead us back to Nimitz Park for the down-down, but not before giving us the slip a few times. Many items were discussed during the down-downs to include Twat Waffles anal-versary and NFN Dave’s abbreviated naming. Questions were asked and NFN Dave who was given a proper name, blessed, and now and forever more shall be known as Yano Mas. At which point all hash business had been concluded, to be followed by swing low. “May the Hash go in peace,” “May the hash get a piece.” On On Chainsaw Assacre

Hash Trash 2011 June 12 Slippery When Wet A.K.A Reverse Cowgirl Run

As we all gathered on this ½ ass rainy day at Nimitz park for the Sunday trail, For Run # “40Free” as Psycho proclaimed. Sushi Cow Girl had just given a brief description of the trail to be. To include all the shiggy, the hash flashes & the likelihood of crossing a river. The Hare was away. 12 minutes later the hounds were away. Then shortly after discovering the intersection just past the park the hounds “lost scent” That’s right the hounds lost the “scent” after searching 369° for nearly an hour the next intersection was found on a light pole nearly washed away by the rain, and the hounds continued their pursuit. Further following led the pack past Hikari & log kit. A part of the trail in which we have followed before, Up the Stairs and towards what some of the hounds thought was up to Mt. Yumihari (again). Upon discovery of the side intersection & down a flight of stairs we were back on trail. This would lead the hounds to a crossover of Chainsaw’s previous trail where some the pack were briefly confused by some of the old trail marks that were still in place. Shortly thereafter it was JJ the Jet plane who picked up on trail again. JJ would later “get lost” at a check back going further up the mountain. Lost and confused JJ would later stumble upon the trail but failed to snare the hare. Thus to labled as a short cutting bastard. On-On went the rest of the pack. At the top of the hill past the cemetery and to the left, There was some short lived confusion about the map. Onto and further up the mountain the pack paused for a hash flash near a raging waterfall and then a shrine. Nearby the shrine manko…..polo discovered the true trail mark fashioned out of rope of all things. After a near sideways slip, NFN Kenny nearly wound up with a stick up the ass. Further along and thru a clearing up to the top of the hill led us to a shrine and a hell of view for another hash flash. Where NFN Kenny & NFN Jackass decided to take a “bath” All the while Manko… Polo decided to be the fan girl for this pose. It was there that the CB12 was found. Back to the new intersection and down to a dead end, the trail was found going back to the shiggy down the mountain. After a more few near slip and falls. Another slip and fall, this time it was NFN Jackass in a vain attempt to break his fall by grabbing a shrubbery. Seems like sex with trees just wasn’t enough and NFN Jackass attempted to Uproot trees, shrubs and flowers, literally. Finally the pack was out of the shiggy and onward down hill. Well almost all of the pack. B.E.D would try to talk Naga into sex on trail only to reject his self? May be the trail was to filthy or his “body condom” was just not sufficient enough? Onwards towards the end, well the no beer near part in the parking area of an apartment building, where a slightly confused Psychodrunk made his way to the top of the building. At last making our way to the finish there was a tricky intersection right across the street from the base, where a few hounds turned left to no avail. This is where Psychodrunk would “jaywalk” and nearly get hit by a car in the process. Back around to the park to find another no beer near then finally finishing at Wendy’s for the down downs, discussing the trail and other hash business before Swing Low. On On Chainsaw Assacre

Hash Trash 2011 May 29 Run #401 Typhoon Songda Scottish Bastard Run

Hashers attending were: Chainsaw Assacre (the hairless hare), Psychodrunk, Texas Tea Bag (TTB), Pink Sausage, Chin Chin 2.2, Sushi Cow Girl, NFN Maho, NFN Dave, NFN Patrick, NFN Misty, and late cummers: Eye Full of Penis, Happy SM, Sphincter, Needle Dick Princess and guest, Naga Suck Me, and Pie Pan.

The hash started with hare away called and then the weak hounds began donning rain gear! WHAT! Rain gear, it is only a typhoon get over it! 12 minutes later hounds away were called and off the pack went with TTB and Psychodrunk finding the trail leading out the main entrance of Nimitz Park. Past the main gate and too the right the trail would go, then up the hill as if we were going to Mt. Yumahari once again, well not quite. The trail would soon turn and follow the road toward UBUD hotel. Just before the hotel the trail would turn and go into the shiggy. Soon the trail would disappear and the hounds would learn the hare was making turns without intersections. The hounds soon found the trail, which came out of the shiggy to a road then up many stairs. At the top of the stairs once again no intersection? Later the hounds would learn front running bastard Psychodrunk did not call the pack because he wanted to be a hound of one and catch the hare (more on this later). The hounds would find the trail going down hill and then a shortcut to what seemed to be a dead ended trail again. Soon the pack found the hare captured by Psychodrunk just to find out the hare ran out of chalk but kept running anyway!!! The hounds provided the hare with chalk and sent him away once again. This time the trail would lead down the hill to the freeway on ramps then around the corner to Nimitz entrance. Upon entering the park Chin Chin 2.2 would once again catch the hare!

Down Downs were held at Sasebo park where the hare would drink for many trail violations and then drink some more for his chalk failures and hairless snares. Psychodrunk would drink for leaving his fellow hounds behind and thinking of only himself. Must have been the typhoon that clouded his memory but we cleared it up with many beverages and songs. Eye full of Penis would cum late and drink for missing the hash due to sex with the cable guy. Chin Chin 2.2 would drink for sending his virgin, NFN Maho, back to Fukuoka on the 1500 bus at 1545 and without a proper hash send off. Pink Sausage would run off early to listen to the radio. NFN Dave would drink from his shoes, with a sock strainer, for cleansing the shoes prior to the hash. NFN Patrick and NFN Misty would drink for shortcutting. NFN Patrick and the hare for sex after trail while retrieving the beverages and forgetting the bottle opener. All hares associated with Texas would drink because when one Texan drinks all Texans drink.

Onon took us to Napoli where out of town hasher Chatterpussy would introduce herself to the hash members. This is also where Birthday hasher Pie Pan would join the hash. Ononon went to Playmates where Naga Suck Me would watch the guys play with there balls on the pool table. Fellow Hashers Snowball and Flashflower were there to greet us as was non-hasher Tomoko.

Next hash will be Saturday, pick up at 1800 followed by bar to bar.

On on Sushi Cow Girl

Hash Trash 2011 April 24 Sushi Run

Present: Psychodrunk, One Dog Sleeping, Follows Children, Happy SM, Screw Drive Her, Stick a Dick in It (STD), Chin Chin 2.2, Pie Pan, Twat Waffle, Snowball, Eifel of Penis, Brown Eyed Dragon, NFN Josh (Moulin Pooson), Virgin NFN Ben, Virgin NFN Drew, Virgin NFN John.

Late Comers: Sphincter and Chainsaw Assacre

Everyone met at Nimitz Park for a day of hashing throughout Sasebo. Chalk Talk was conducted by Sushi Cow Girl as the hare, after which Karaoke Porn Star blessed the hare and away the hare went. For some reason KP had a bad excuse and was not able to hound on this trail as his last day in Japan. It was still good to see him there for everyone to say goodbye. A little practice singing held by the song miester, and the hounds were away. The run went out the main gate of Nimitz Park and towards the front entrance to the base. After running past the base, the trail made a right and headed towards the hills of Sasebo. We ran along the street for a short while as the trail went up a set of stairs and into the woods. Plenty of chad was laid down as the trail went through the woods until meeting a road. The road would have been easy to follow, but instead the trail went up a long, long, long flight of stairs which included a good view of Sasebo harbor. After climbing about a thousand stairs, the trail led back into the woods and up the face of the mountain. As the trail went up and up and up and up we eventually made it to one of the hotels near the top of Mt Yumahari. The trail led to a few out-of-breath taking views of Sasebo Harbor and 99 Islands, before going behind the view points. This is where NFN John (a virgin) snared the hare. What type of a hare gets snared by a virgin? After waiting around for awhile and allowing everyone to catch up, the hounds were back on trail heading down a portion of the mountain. When reaching the turkey eagle true trail point, most people took the rope line down as far as they could. Somehow there was not enough rope to go all the way down, which is why others were smart enough to go the turkey route. After running down a road for a little bit the hare took everyone down the face of the mountain, through a few thorn bushes, and near a danger sign for what might have been an electric fence. Once leaving the face of the mountain, the trail crossed a road and went down another thousand stairs. At least these stairs were downhill. Once at the bottom of the stairs the hounds ran through a parking lot to follow a map near Sailor Town. The down downs were held at Wendy’z in Sailor Town for Psychodrunk as the front running bastard and STD as the first bitch in. Psycho, what took you so long to be the front runner again? Brown Eyed Dragon had to down a little beer for losing his virgin on trail. Once the Grand Master Sphincter arrived, questions were asked to NFN Josh who was given a proper name, blessed, and now and forever more shall be known as Moulin Pooson. Look forward to everyone joining us for Saturday’s Trash Hash and Bar-to-Bar.

On On

BED

Hash Trash 2011 April 16 KP F*#K OFF BAR TO BAR

Hashers attending were Needle Dick Princess, Ballerina Boo Boo, Karaoke Pornstar, Brown Eyed Dragon, Psychodrunk, Chainsaw Assacre, Pie Pan, eKimchi, Sushi Cow Girl, Sphincter, Happy SM, Follows Children, Puppy Face Off, and NFN Matt.

The hare tonight was Karaoke Pornstar with co-hare eKimchi. Hares away called at 1910 with KP promising shiggy, hounds departed and soon found the shiggy that led to the road heading to Dreamer. The hares soon noticed there was one hound that did not make it, Psychodrunk was lost on trail and had to use tech and call the hounds to find the first bar! The second stop led the hounds to Pixy for some much needed hydration and entertainment. Upon departing the hounds made a stop at Yamagata Paradise to participate in Japanese rock/paper/scissors song. Around the corner the hounds went to Masters. Here is where famous late cummer Happy SM joined the hash and Chainsaw Assacre requests to learn English? The next trail took the hounds to Snack Ray and Sphincter joined the hash. Here we sang F*#k off to KP since this is his last hash before departing Sasebo. After many drinks and some questions for cross dressing NFN Matt the hares laid trail to Playmate. After meeting our fellow hashers, Snowball and Flash Flower, we were off and around the corner to Westerner. Now it gets very fuzzy from here, not sure if its because of the drinks or KP's singing efforts. The hounds picked up hash treasure, another NFN Matt (I think). The next stop was River Rock, on this leg there was talk of a Co-hare snare but it is really fuzzy because of the ringing in our ears from KP's singing. Soon we were off to Wendy'z where the hashers would spend lots of time and name NFN Matt, Twat Waffle. After much rejoicing the hare laid to Love Doll. Here Follows Children and Puppy Face Off joined the hash with 2 hash treasure girls of their own! Swing low was completed in hash style and the hash went in peace to get a piece. Onon Sushi Cow Girl

Hash Trash 2011 March 27 Happy SM’s Necrophilia Animals Hash

Hare was Texas T-bag. Hounds were Psychodrunk, Screw Drive Her, One Dog Sleeping, Pie Pan, eKimchi, Brown Eyed Dragon, Happy SM, Aka Gay, and Chainsaw Assacre.

Another Sunday run and it was a beautiful day outside. Texas T-bag showed everyone around the corner from Haiki Station where we met up to bless the hare and let him start running trail. After a few minutes of the hare being away Happy SM was kind enough to bless us with her presence. A few minutes later it was hounds away to hunt down the hare for Hash number 392. After leaving from the starting point, we went out and up one side of the street and back down the other side, before crossing the street and down to the river. After running up the river for a little while we found our way into the city before running along the river again. After crossing the blue bridge we found ourselves going up a “hill” across many stairs before arriving in a city. Being sneaky, Texas T-bag crossed around the cho before going down a set of stairs and down to the corner. After that we climbed a set of stairs to the first shrine where some people made their prayers (hopefully for all animals to live). From there we crossed behind the shrine and up the hill through several mosquitoes and past several dog markings (with no dogs) where we found ourselves at the top of the hill behind all the houses. After running behind the hill we went down the stairs across a street and down another set of stairs. The bottom of the stairs led us past a pack of unmarked dogs and around a hill. After this hill there was a check back 5 which check backed at the beginning of another shrine. After going across the same blue bridge we ran around a few hills and found ourselves climbing a concrete hill to the third shrine. Just before going down the stairs, Happy SM found a dying mole. From there we ran around the corner along the train tracks before crossing over them. Some people were busy staring at each other (eKimchi and Chainsaw Assacre) and almost missed the stairs near the tracks, which would have been a 1.5 meter fall (like PsychoDrunk into a garage). A quick jog down the street and we were at the finish which had also been the start. Fortunately there was a park where everyone was able to have the down downs. Happy SM was too busy trying to save a dying bird to notice the down down and circle. Although no virgins and NFNs there was a few anniversaries and birthdays to celebrate. Chainsaw Assacre and Screw Driver celebrated their birthdays as well as Brown Eyed Dragon, Chainsaw Assacre, and Texas T-bag received there 10 hash band; Happy SM received her 50 hash head band (who said head?). Over all it was a good trail for a short notice and we look forward to everyone making it to the Cherry Blossom Run next Sunday.

On-on

Brown Eyed Dragon